Pornography
by Readergirl380
Summary: JOINT STORY WITH BOOKWORYM! OK so we wrote it like two years ago.. annnd yeah. This is what happens when birthday wishes come true, you get into the magic world of wizardry. Complete with comical twist and named because well... I'm a pervert. heh.


PORNOGRAPHY:

CHARACTER LOG:

A/N: this is not just written by me!!! My friends Kim, Kirsten, and Michelle are helping me write it and I'm just posting it! This story is strictly humor!

Disclaimer: We don't own anything having to do with the Harry Potter series, they ALL belong to J.K.R. we are only using them for the story.

KEY:

**Name- tells who the profile is about**

_**Name- who is speaking**_

_Script- what is being said_

Script- what category is being asked or answered

/ separate subject, or people talking

: Words: and shows action

3 heart (side ways)

**Nicole-** Age: 14 / Sex: Yes Please! Ummmm I meant to say female. / Status: Single/ **_Kim-_**_I wonder why…_/ **_Nicole-_ **_Hey! It's not my fault that I'm a teenager and am run by unbalanced hormones! _/ Looks: about 5'2, chestnut colored hair about chest length with highlights. I have Hazel eyes. / _**Ron-** Hott/**Nicole-** Hahaha awww you're so cute! _/ Attitude: Ditzy, overactive hormones, very sarcastic, always tell jokes, Loves to dance, sings / Goal: screw all the hott guys at Hogwarts, and have fun doing it.

**Ron-** Age: 14 turning 15 / Sex: _**Fred-** He's never had any_ / _**Ron- **Hey! Err, he means Male_ / _**Draco-** well we think, most of us are still trying to figure this out, it would be a whole lot easier if he got laid, then we could know for sure._ / Status: _**George-** He can't get a date, well there was that one time he hired a hooker…_/ _**Ron-** haha, he's such a kidder, He means _I'm single and ready to 'mingle' / Looks- _**Draco- **well, Weasel here looks like his face was fire and someone decided to put it out with a shovel…_ / _**Ron-** OUT! This is MY profile so leave me ALONE and let me do it in peace!!! _/ _**Draco-** Haha, like ever do it Weasel, maybe if you hired a hooker, and THAT probably wouldn't wor--/ **George- **well, there was this one time _/ _**Ron-** _I have freckles, red hair, blue eyes and am about 5'4 / **_Draco-_** _you almost forgot to say that you look very sun depri--- _/ Attitude: ummm, I guess people would call me 'horny', but I think that's only my overactive imagination, I'm a bit sarcastic too I guess, and I like Quidditch. / Goal: We have to have one? Then I guess it's to get / _**Harry-** LAID/**Ron-** No! New Friends! _, but really I seriously don't think I have one. I'll think of one later.

**Draco-** Age: 15, turning 16 soon/ Sex: I get enough thanks, oh, I'm a guy. / Status: I really don't have one, I get laid and stuff but I really don't have an 'official' girlfriend, and I'm not looking, because, well, they all come to me / Looks: 5'4, white-blond hair that is usually slicked back, blue or green eyes, it depends on my mood. / Attitude: **_Ron-_** _Bitch!_ / _**Draco**- buggeroff_! As I was saying before I was so RUDELY interrupted, I'm nice to people I like, and if I don't like you then go screw off. And get out of my way, because if you don't then you should watch you back. Cough: weasel: cough: Potter: cough: Mudblood: cough. / Goal: screw a lot of people; I guess that's pretty much it.

**Harry-** Age: 14 / Sex: erm, well, I think that's a bit personal… / **_Ron-_** _they mean gender_ / **_Harry-_** _Ohhhh_, male, hahaha / Status: Single, I guess I'm loving it, but I wouldn't mind having a girl / Looks: **_Draco-_** _Do you mean before or after the sex change?_ / **_Harry-_** _SHUT UP!_ Untidy black hair, green eyes, glasses, around 5'3 / Attitude: Good, I'm a nice guy most of the time, but I have a quick temper sometimes / Goal: Get Laid/ **_Nicole-_** _Do you really want other people to see that?_ / **_Harry-_** _Wait… Other people are going to be reading this/ **Nicole –** Yeah, what did you think this was for/ **Harry-** well, Fred and George told me it was an add they give to the "Play Boy" Models every week--- / **Nicole – **HAHAHAHA Oh My God! I SOOOO totally 3 them/ **Harry-** DAMN THEM!_ What I _meant to say was_ to win the quidditch cup for Griffindor, and maybe the house cup too, I really don't care about that as long as Slytherin doesn't win it.

**Michelle A(dolf) Pugliese-**

Sex: female…sometimes

_**All others:** 0.o;;_

_**Harry:** wait...what is that supposed to mean anyways?_

_**Me:** wouldn't you like to know, Harriet!_

_**Harry :** ::fumes::_**ANYWAY:**

Status: Single, PH33R my SINGLENESS! I am mega GEEK-TASTIC! XD

_**All others:** 0.o;;_

_**Me:** would you STOP STARING AT ME LIKE THAT::Twitches…a lot::_

_**All others:** ::edge away slowly::_

Looks: Green eyes, brown hair, kind of short, 130 lbs (ugh, I'm a

fatty), I wear glasses in this fic. Emo glasses, because I like them XD

Attitude: Oh yeah, I'm CHOCK FULLA ATTITUDE! BOO-YA::dances around::

_**All others:** o.0;;_

_**Me:** herm..Cough sorry._ /Anyways, is sort of a tree-hugger, likes the

colour pink (pn0n4g3!) Is bisexual/

_**All others besides Nicole :** ::GASP!::_

_**Me:** ::glare::_Goal: To set up a giant risk game, and finally win! (I have never won a

game of risk in my life) To bang Cho Chang (because she sounds hot)

_**Harry:** ::fumes::_

_**Me:** It's okay, you can come too!_

_**Harry:** yay::skips off joyfully::_

more goals: Learn to fly, learn to play the ukulele well, get the

new flaming lips album…::rambles off::

_**All others::** ::fall asleep:: zzZzzzZZZzzzz_

And, well, that's the end ;;

**Hermione-** Age- 15 / Sex- is a very dirty thing! And should only be done by married people... now that we have THAT all cleared up, I'm a girl. / Status- Well, I kind of have a boyfriend, Victor Krumb, but since we don't really talk anymore I'm going to dump him, before it effects my school work./ Looks- / _**Draco- **Fugly!!!_/ _**Hermione-** Hey!_/ 5'2, brown eyes, brown hair, some people would call it 'bushy but I don't think it is per-say… it's more of an, erm, 'thickness' if you will./ Attitude- /_**Ron-** COUGH: bitch! Cough…_/ _**Hermione-** are you catching a cold or something Ron? That cough didn't sound too good…_/ **Everyone _Else-_**_ rolls eyes_/ ok, ummm, I'm outgoing, bright, talented, and people HAVE called me bossy before, so then maybe I'm a leader./ Goals- get another year of top grades, pass all my exams, not get expelled, and win the house cup./ _**Nicole-** dude, she REALLY needs to get laid_ / _**everyone else-** nods_ / _**Hermione-** glairs dangerously and puts her hand by her wand_ / _**everyone else-** stops nodding gulp hehe, we were, just kidding you know…_

**Fred & George** (to conserve room they've agreed to do theirs together, well, sort of- as if you were expecting something other)- Age-17/Sex- we'd like more of it thanks. Male./Status- single! COME ON girls! You KNOW you want us ::rawr:wink/_**Nicole-** ::giggles spazticly:: HELLZ YESS!!!/**Kim-** TAKE IT OFF W00!/**Fred & George**- hehe we're saving that for later…:winks, yet again)_/Looks- _/**Draco-** like they fell out of the ugly tree and hit EVERY branch on the way down/**Fangirls:** ::glare::/**Nicole**- well I think they're quite ADORABLE!/**Fred & George**- ::Grins and blushes:: Thanks!/_ red hair, brown eyes, 5'7-ish, quiddich practice has us RIPPED/_**Girls**-::faint::/ **Fred & George**- Thanks, we'll be here all chapter/_ Attitude- LOVES playing tricks and getting in to trouble, fun, friendly, funny, whenever there's a party we're there!/ Goals- FINALLY HUMILIATE SNAPE!/_**Gryffindors**-YAY!!!/**Carbbe & Goyle** - I'm TELLLLLLLINGGG!!!/**Fred & George- **No you aren't, here's a piece of gum/ **Crabbe & Goyle**- YUMMY CANDY! OoO SHINEY!/_ start a joke shop, invent new pranks/_**Draco-** maybe tan a bit/ **Fred**-look who's talking, we're TANNER then you!/**Draco**- FOILED AGAIN BY THOSE MEDDELING KIDS::turns to walk away::/**George-** ::slaps Draco as he walks away:: snap out of it! Your losing the cool!_

**Kiersten**- Age-  14 going on 15/ Sex- is an annoying thing I don't get it. Guys think that if they buy you a drink it's like, a free ticket into your pants. Well it's not/**_Waiter_**- _what can I get you ladies?/ **Kiersten-** I'll have a panty dropper**/ Nicole-** a screaming orgasm/**Michelle-** a slow and comfortable screw./**Waiter-** good choices winks and walks off/ **Hermione**-erm…/ **Kiersten**- blushes_ oh , right, female hehe… I guess/Status- SINGLE ::kicks ex's body behind door:: AND LUVIN IT!/ Looks- blue/green eyes, curly dirty blonde hair (NO NOT that kind of dirty.5'5/Attitude-pyro, I SHALL BURN EVERYTHING!! And then I'll dance crazy dances and burn THE REST OF EVERYTHING::cackles:: Oh and by the way, I'm playing tag with the guys in the white coats, they haven't caught me yet /**_Everyone Else:_** _::backs away::_ /Unrealistic Goals- to draw better them Michelle and to learn the robot dance and to sing C sharp. /Realistic Goals- to draw elf ears and take over the world ::Cackles AGAIN::I AM YOUR MASTER OBEY ME ::wiggles fingers:: grr…

Nicole: The other characters won't have a profile.

Other Charecters:HEY!

Nicole: Sorry, but we have to start the fic sometime.

Kiersten::nods::

Other CHarecters: Don't we get to vote on it or something?

Nicole: Nope

Other Charecters: WHY not?

Nicole: Because I said so. ::turns back to reader:: A few of the other characters that will be used often are:

-Kim :HEY!

Nicole: hey we told you to write a profile, but nooo you wouldn't, that's what happens when you don't meet due dates folks! It'd be incredibly boring anyway, but just to appease you, Kim is short, really dark brown hair (almost black) blue eyes, sometimes glasses, smart, funny, blah blah blah , all the good stuff, the END! On to the NEXT characters:

-Ginny Weasley

-Percy Weasley

-The rest of the weasleys

-Pansy Perkins

-Crabbe & Goyle

-Oliver Wood

-Katie Bell

-Alicia Spinnet

-Lavender Brown

-Parviti Pavil

-Cho Chang

-Hogwarts staff

-pets

-ghosts

-other people I cant think of right now

Neville: Like me::grins::

Nicole:EXACTLY!

Nevelle: and stan, and the bus driver, the shrunken heads, shop owners, and Collin Creevy, and Mrs.Toodles

Nicole: who?

Neville: The old lady in the next chapter who thinks she's Michelle's—

Nicole: right, shut up now . ON WITH THE STORY ! TO CHAPTER ONE! HOO!

Neville: you mean Hoeeee! Like Shakespearian , 'get me my sword hoee!' kinda thing?

Nicole: No bitches, I mean turn the page ho! What are you doing still stanging here reading, frikkin a ,#&$& $&)($ &$) ----

Neville- these obscenities that are blocked out for private reasons, her sailor mouth would make the computer shut off… just turn the page please


End file.
